Standard Warning! Persons on heart medication or prone to nightmares should avoid reading the next paragraphs. I will not be held liable for personal injury or property damage that occurs after reading anything I have written. Proceed with caution!
"She's Having My Butt-Weasel" by MJ
Once upon a time on the GA mailing list, on a dark & stormy night in 1996, there was an ugly rumor about Winona Ryder taking Gillian's place on "The X-Files". Rumor had spread via tabloid gossip from country to country like the Ebola Virus. I was new to the list, and I had to do something quickly. What I said had to be BOLD, strong enough to smash this gossip into a jangle of letters and broken syllables. What could I do?
Here was my reply:
"Winona will take over as Scully when weasels sprout wings and fly out of my butt singing "Volare"! It isn't gonna happen!"
The response to my post was incredible! People were coming out of the electronic woodwork to thank the Butt Weasels for saving them from the lies and conjecture. To this day, folks continue to be grateful to the Butt Weasels for being their truth-loving, honor-bound, foul-smelling selves.
The BW's have since become the GAML's unofficial mascots. Visit the petting zoo anytime. Bring Doritos - any kind will do, but they like the Nacho Cheese variety the best.
- *The BW Roll Call*
Botard : Male, has wandering left eye. Not that bright, but good with organizing things.
Humbolt : Scar on lower left cheek. Sex unknown, as we can't get close enough to tell. "It" likes noodles a lot.
Lamas : Male. Dating Robin from the list. Wears too much CK One cologne but lives for moonlight walks and poetry readings. Liable to burst spontaneously into song at any time, especially show tunes.
Sheena : Female. She a real 90's gal and a proud member of PETA.
Trixie : Female. She's the older, incontinent one. Trixie is really into Mexican food, but it's not something you want to feed her a lot of, if you get my drift.
- So that is it, the truth behind the Butt Weasels. I think that most all of us are proud to have them among our ranks. Like ourselves, they are faithful, loyal, and are not above stooping to the other guy's level to get the mission accomplished. If you have any questions for the creator and artist of the Butt Weasels, contact [email protected]
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